Ian is up in Stormont for a debate and afterwards all the deputies adjourned to the pub.

Ian gets heavily inebriated and wanders off to the bathroom to break the seal.

He pulls up to a urinal and let’s it flow.

In wanders Martin singing RA songs and takes the urinal directly beside Ian and proceeds with his business while still singing.

Ian happens to glance down and before he can stop himself says: “Jesus Christ!”

Martin: “that’s what they all say Ian, don’t be embarrassed”

Ian: “Christ Martin where the fook did you get that from?”

Martin: “Well Ian” he looks around making sure they are alone ,

“The trick is each night when I get home as I’m walking up the stairs to bed I whip it out and bang it off the banister for every second step I take”

Ian: “Damn, does that really work?”

McGuiness: Motioning with his eyes downwards “what do you think Ian?”

Ian quickly zips up and leaves the bathroom joining his party members for one more drink.

He arrives home still fairly drunk as he goes in the door taking his time not to disturb his sleeping wife with noise.

Suddenly he remembers what McGuiness said, as nobodies around he decides that he’ll give it a go.

He takes it out and beats it off the banister every second step as he’s 6 steps in he hears his wife stirring and her voice..

Wife: “Is that you Martin?”